Hold a candle to a naked flame

Ask the atheist his Christian name

Try parachuting from a burning plane

Finding someone else you could blame



If I ever thought you'd be lonely

If I ever thought you'd be there

If I ever fought the alimony

Painted pony

You'd be there



Eskimo heart

Bedouin throat

A butcher trussed up in a camel hair coat

A crowning in the castle

A drowning in the moat

Ocean dried,

Desert afloat



If I ever thought you'd be lonely

If I ever thought you'd be there

If I ever fought the alimony

My one and only

You'd be there



One for the lady,

One for the gent

Signatures in wet cement,

And if you ever ask,

What I meant then I'd never know,

Then I'd never know...